The Jellicle Ball Aftermath Interview
by SirPrickles
Summary: Munkustrap and Alonzo reluctantly find out where the Rum Tum Tugger was when Macavity struck at the Jellicle Ball.


The Rum Tum Tugger idly examined his claws. "These are getting a bit long. Starting to look like Macavity's."

"And that's what we're here to talk about," Munkustrap said, looking down at his younger brother from a heap of junk. Alonzo nodded assent, glaring heatedly at Tugger. "To be specific, your lack of any type of help during the fight at the Jellicle Ball."

Tugger stretched back, putting both paws behind his head. He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what you're for?"

"Still," Munk said, cutting off Alonzo's angry retort, "we could have used the help. Now, I would rather not do this, but I have to ask: where were you?"

"With Bomba?" Alonzo put in.

Tugger was back to examining his claws. "She was with Demeter." His inflection on "with Demeter" in a very cool and disdainful tone made Munk's hackles rise. But he should really be used to it by now—his brother and his mate did not get along. So he forced his fur back down and continued:

"Well then. Where were you?"

"With Cassandra?" Alonzo hissed. Munk immediately moved to calm him.

"No, no, Lonz; she was right behind me," he said soothingly while Tugger snickered.

"It would serve you right. She wasn't too pleased about your dance with little Jemima."

"Oh, that is rich," Alonzo said.

"Is it?"

"Coming from you—the flirtiest—flirt—ever…" Alonzo trailed off. He looked at the Maine coon with a shrewd eye. "Is this because I propositioned Bombalurina?"

"Flirtiest flirt ever," Tugger mimicked. "I already told you, I wasn't with Cassandra."

"Actually, I told him," Munk sighed, "but yes. He wasn't with Cassandra. Settled. But Plato and Mistoffeles were also missing at that vital moment. You weren't with them, were you?"

"No."

Alonzo said wryly, "The story those two gave me is that they were discussing the Mating Dance. I translate that to 'arguing over Victoria'."

Tugger nodded sagely. "Mr. Mistoffeles was quite upset about that."

"So you were with them?" Munk squeezed his eyes shut. After dealing with all the cuts and bruises Macavity had given him, the last thing he wanted was a headache from Tugger. He silently resolved to have only one kitten to save them the trouble of siblings—especially brothers.

"No. But I was within earshot."

"With those big ears," Alonzo said, "couldn't you have heard Macavity coming?"

"Coming, no. Going, yes."

"With those supposed super senses," Alonzo continued, "I wonder. I mean, you could spot Grizabella a mile away—"

"Smell, actually." Tugger leaned back and closed his eyes.

"And Old Deuteronomy, when he comes around—"

"So does Misto," Munk pointed out.

Tugger opened one eye. "Mother was a fabulously sensory cat. Black, too. Makes one wonder how she did get hit by that car."

Munk chose not to continue Tugger's tangent. "Let's get through this. I don't want to waste time. I know you like being contradictory, Tugger—"

"I do not!"

"But seriously, where were you?"

He grinned outrageously. "Guess."

"I already did," Alonzo said. "When I rescued Demeter, I went to put her down with Bomba, but she wasn't anywhere in the area. So I dropped her off by Jenny and went to _join the fight_." He emphasized the last phrase very strongly. He was clearly still rifled by the incident, and Tugger's blasé manner hadn't helped.

Munk said sternly, "Were you with Bomba?"

Alonzo said, forcefully, "Or were you keeping watch on Macavity's orders? Helping big brother out?"

Tugger leapt to his feet. He towered over Alonzo, all fur and fury. He bared his teeth and hissed.

"I would never betray the Jellicles, or Old Deuteronomy. If you don't want to feel what it's like to tangle with the Rum Tum Tugger, never accuse me of that again!'

Munkustrap stepped between them and pushed Alonzo, who was also hissing, back. He faced his taller brother and shook his head warningly, holding Alonzo at bay.

Tugger backed down. He turned away. He fluffed his mane and said, quietly:

"I was napping at the south end of the dump. I could hear Misto and Plato arguing from where I was. But I didn't hear the screams. Bomba woke me up. She was frantic—when Macavity grabbed her sister, she came to find me. She told me, and we raced over and got there just in time to see Mac electrocute himself—and then he wasn't there. So I laid down to rest on the bedsprings. And while you all were flummoxed, I suggested that Misto could find Old Deuteronomy."

There was a short silence. Then,

"_Napping_?"

Tugger ignored Alonzo, and gazed evenly at Munkustrap.

"Alright," Munk said, holding his paws up. "There you go. That's all. Thanks. But try to be more helpful next time, please."

Alonzo opened his mouth, then closed it again. He shrugged.

Tugger rolled his head. His smirk was back. "I did more than either of you to find Old Deuteronomy."

Munk raised both eyebrows. "I would give that credit to Misto."

"Who," Tugger said, "had a lot of encouragement from his big brother." He rolled his thumbs in his studded belt.

"What a change," Alonzo muttered.

Munk smiled slightly.

Tugger grinned. "Oh, I always knew he could do it. I believed in him. But let's all be honest, it's much more fun giving him a hard time. And it's practically my duty."

Munk said, "I didn't give you a hard time when we were growing up." Well, mostly. Sometimes Tugger really, really deserved it.

"Naw. We were cool. You were—you are—a good big brother. I can only hope," Tugger said, dramatically clutching Munk's shoulder and wiping his eyes, "that someday I'll be—" he sniffed loudly—"as wonderful as you!" He slapped Munk's shoulder in farewell and jumped down the junk heap, laughing richly as he went. And he swaggered into the main area of the junkyard, tail swinging behind him.

Shaking his head, Alonzo said, "How could you stand it? Him _and _Macavity growing up? I'm glad I don't have any brothers."

"Actually," Munk said, watching the Rum Tum Tugger "accidentally" bump Victoria right into Mr. Mistoffeles's lap, "they're not so bad."

Maybe he would have a few kittens. At least they would have company.


End file.
